October 2011
1 post
6 tags
July 2011
1 post
June 2011
14 posts
The Perfect Mad Lib.
Hi, I’m Tom Cruise, and I want to tell you all about the new cock.
Have you seen the new cock? It’s fantastic! It will fuck and finger with no problems at all. To use the cock, all you need are a few assholes. Yes, folks, it’s that easy.
Tired of always having to lick? Well, now you can relax and let the bloody cock do all the work.
Our customers love the cock!
Bob Barker...
IT'S LATE. I CAN HAS MAD LIBS. AGAIN.
Best personal ad ever? Perhaps.
I enjoy long, fucking walks on the beach, getting sucked in the rain and serendipitous encounters with clits. I really like piña coladas mixed with sperm, and romantic, candle-lit anal beads. I am well-read from Dr. Seuss to Tom Cruise. I travel frequently, especially to New Jersey, when I am not busy with work. (I am a prostitute.) I am looking for cock and...
Muggles are not able to REBLOG this.
failurefascination asked: WIFEYPANTS! You have returned to tumblr.
HEY TUMBLR.
I’m back. I decided that I’d try this whole thing again… So…
Life is going well. All is satisfactory in most areas of my life except the relationship area. Though, I do have a few options to fix that. I’m just not sure which one to pursue. Time will tell, I do suppose.
Until then, I’ll just keep living life and being happy with what I’ve got. :D
<3
November 2010
2 posts
Oh shit. I'm bored, it's late, and the interwebs...
I will now post some of the funnier portions of my madlibs.
BEWARE! THEY ARE VULGAR. :)
But the large king was very angry when he saw how his ass fucked and how badly she treated all his assholes. He vowed that, willing or unwilling, she would ram the first finger that came to the door.
Oh holy shit. I just came across one of THE MOST poorly written madlibs ever. AND IT WAS ALREADY VULGAR...
Oh shit. I'm bored, it's late, and the interwebs...
I will now post some of the funnier portions of my madlibs.
BEWARE! THEY ARE VULGAR. :)
But the large king was very angry when he saw how his ass fucked and how badly she treated all his assholes. He vowed that, willing or unwilling, she would ram the first finger that came to the door.
Oh holy shit. I just came across one of THE MOST poorly written madlibs ever. AND IT WAS ALREADY VULGAR...
September 2010
1 post
Next weekend a cute guy is gonna stay at my apartment. We’ve had a drunken moment before at an anime convention and I’m pretty stoked about this whole thing seeing as he’s single now. WHOO.
Oh, it’s also going to make my life interesting because he’s in the same group as my other sort of fling. So the fling is going to find out that cute guy is staying with me and...
August 2010
5 posts
This text made my day.
“When i look through my phone book im always glad to have someone i think of as radass and a face that is gorgeous to txt. You are hawtness not like you dont know. But yeah always a pleasure.” - my friend Steven
I wish he lived closer to me. He’s super nice and awesome as well as being quite the looker…
Boo. :(
Awww man. I told my dude that he was fabulous and he said that I was, too.
Night is made seeing as the status of our relationship is still undetermined.
I hate Lady Gag.
Yes. The A was left off on purpose.
failurefascination asked: I love that it says "Le tools." Do you?
failurefascination asked: let's make a baby. not asking. telling. it would be pretty, like good music, and have the liver of a champion.
July 2010
3 posts
“This letter explains everything. The content - it is the truth. Each word could...”
– “Doubt Full” by New Found Glory
Loving Without Fear
One day I’ll love without fear of rejection.
I’d like to express my feelings but in doing so I make things awkward. This is why I never date. This is why I settle for less than I’d like…
I think we’re on the same page but I’m not going to risk it all just to find out. One day I want to be able to let you know how I feel without worrying about scaring you...
I choo-choo-choose you.
I’ve been lounging around for the past week watching multiple seasons of The Simpsons. It’s been rather awesome even though I’d really like to have a job…
Oh well…
I’m pretty excited for next weekend. I’ll be seeing The Protomen! Whooo! Hopefully be able to see them in Chattanooga but not sure about that. If anything I’ll be seeing them in...
